Changes

I feel like nothing in my life looks anything like I expected my life to look like, and you know I am really sort of okay with that. If you would have asked me a few years ago if I was okay with that the answer would have been a resounding “heck no”, but today I am good. I am not only good I am excited for some change, excited that I don’t know the exact next step. Even writing this I am still a little in shock that I am okay with even saying that out loud haha. Learning to be okay with the unknown is not an easy undertaking, i'm pretty sure it's going to be a daily struggle for the rest of my life and that's alright, but finding rest in the unknown is exactly where God wants us to be. See, if I knew what my next step was all the time life would be boring, life would be void of any spontaneity and surprise. My want to know makes me “think” that I will be secure if I know what is going to happen but that is not what is promised to us. What God wants from me is to just keep my eyes on him, to find rest in him, to trust him for just the next step.

So many times I try to figure it all out, I try to put God in a box deciding how I think he works and the silly thing is, is that I know his ways are so much higher than mine but I still try and fit him into my ways instead of the other way around. These days I am leaning into the unknown and learning to find rest, to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus not needing to know everything but just continuing to take the next steps. God’s so much bigger than my plans and will close the doors that need to be closed and open the ones that need to be opened but my job is to just keep moving and to keep my eyes on him. I know that God has nothing but the best for me, I know that his plans for me are far greater than mine but learning to trust and find rest in that is the hard part. Friend, I don’t know what your life looks like right now, I don’t know what struggles your going through but I do know that God sees you. He sees your needs and your wants, he sees your heart - trust him that he really does have your best interest in mind. I know, that's not easy to believe when your reality looks like it is saying something completely different. I know all to well, I have been there totally believing that there is no way God could have my best interest at heart. It took some time, I mean a really really hard year and a half or so but I am seeing the good even in the really hard times now. Remember that in most cases things don’t work out exactly the way want them to so put down the worry today. Put down the having to figure it all out, the needing to know not just the next step but every step and keep your eyes fixed on Jesus who hold you in perfect peace when you trust in him.