I just haven't learned that yet

Can I tell you, going from the teacher to the learner is HARD ya’ll! I've said it before but change is not always easy, it's not always fun, it actually is super uncomfortable but…. It sure does produce growth. I knew heading into this journey that there would be a whole lot of change, there would be more than a few challenges but I am not quite sure I was prepared for this. Walking into the lobby of what would be my home for the next six weeks, a lobby full of people that are all on this journey together but had no earthly idea who each other was, was super overwhelming! I'm a people person, I like to be around people, I like to get to know people and hear their stories but walking into that lobby not knowing a single sole and them having no clue who I was… was definitely a lot to take in. This journey so far has been super challenge, very overwhelming, and SO SO SO much information!!!! But it has been good!

Becoming the student again magnifies the reality that I really don’t know everything… lol I mean, I would like to to think I know everything but let's be real… I DON’T! Teachers are supposed to have all of the answers to everything, and on this journey I don’t really have any of the answers to anything. All of these concepts are new, all of the lessons are on topics I don’t know a whole lot about and it is requiring a whole lot of studying… and when I say studying, I mean a WHOLE LOT of studying!!! It's been a pretty humbling experience so far, actually.

Learning to say I just don’t know is not something that generally comes naturally to me, I like to know, I like to know what my life is going to look like, where I am going to live, how that relationship is going to work out, what God's plans are for me and the list goes on...I think I find security and comfort in knowing what is going to happen, a false security of course. The more I venture into this crazy journey I am continually reminded of how much I don’t know what is going to happen. Let’s be real, no one really knows what is going to happen in their life and if we did it probably wouldn't stop us from worrying anyways. When I want to figure it all out, when I want to know, when I want to see the bigger picture I reminded that it's okay to just not know yet… In Matthew it says “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” Matthew 6: 25 and 26 . When you find yourself worrying, when you find yourself trying to figure it all out, when you find yourself in a “i just don’t know yet” situation, find comfort that God knows your every need. You might feel out of control but God is not out of control!!!