My life is all up in the air...

My life is all up in the air, it looks nothing like I thought it would at this point. There is so much uncertainty, and to be super honest I don’t really like it. I signed up for this, I know. I had a choice, I could stay where I was, comfortable and stagnant but I chose to take a risk, to jump into the deep end of uncertainty but its doesn’t mean that it is always going to be sunshine and daisies! Change is hard, it hasn’t been easy and the thing is, I don't think it is going to get any easier anytime soon. Sometimes I find that comforting knowing that I am growing but other times it is almost paralyzing. Today the unknown is daunting… And in my struggling I am doubting God, I doubt that he is still in control, I doubt that he still has a plan, I doubt that I am walking were he is calling me.

As I sit here typing this the thought of “what in the hell am I actually doing” is almost overwhelming… but then I am reminded that God doesn't change based on my feelings or my thoughts. He doesn't’ change because my circumstances change. That God is the same on the mountain tops of life that he is in the heartaches. My circumstances aren't a surprise to him, he isn't worried, he isn't confused. I don’t know what struggles you are going through, I don’t know what uncertainty or heartache you have in your life right now but can I encourage you to run to God. To trust him even when you don’t see the next step! God doesn’t need you to have it all together, he doesn't need you to have a plan, he doesn't need or want perfection. He wants you to trust him that he is going to provide, that he knows exactly what you need when you need it!

When I start to freak out, when I doubt that God is in control I have learned to reach out… to let people in to my mess. And you know what, more times than not I find that I am not the only one struggling!  In the midst of me trying to figure it all out today I reached out and a friend shared this song with me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkbxP0rxt6E and as I listened to the lyrics I was immediately reminded of the truth that God doesn’t change just because my feelings or circumstances do. Friend, find comfort in the fact that you are not alone in your doubting… I am right there with you!

Ya’ll, don’t even begin to think that I am good at this, at trusting that God knows what I need. Because 99% of the time I freak out and stress and frantically try to figure everything out but God so gently reminds me that even in my freak out he is still in control. Find rest in that today! Trying to figure it all out is exhausting, and VERY overwhelming but find comfort in the fact that you don’t have to try to figure it all out. Take the risk, make the change and trust that God knows what you need more then you can even begin to imagine.